At BLS, lol is just a drowning man.

Get it? lol looks like a little man about to go under. Now you’re going to think about that every time someone writes lol to you. That’s why I am sure to provide a proportionate lol level per the amount of actual laughter I am doing. For example:

A smile: lol.

Chuckling: lolll

Laughing, out loud: lolllllz

Laughing at you or someone else: LULZ

The abdominal work out laugh: LOLLZLZLLZLZ!!111!

Which leads me to my main point. There just isn’t enough irreverent humor at BLS. Where are the lolz? When it does happen, I think we’re all very happy. Case in point.

Well played, PC students. That’s a statue of former Practice Court professor, Matt “Mad Dog” Dawson, who is, I am told, a legend around these parts. He also makes a lovely pirate.  I wonder if he taught ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRbitration on the side?  You know, if you don’t pay your child support, you’ll be in ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRReeears. All right, I’m all done. Good luck on finals everyone.

It’s the Small Things

There’s been a lot of hatin’ and negativity on this blog lately. So, because I am in a vapid, airy mood, I’d like to give a completely random and idiosyncratic list of enjoyable things:

1. Church’s Chicken. They must batter their chicken in endorphins.

2. Cowboy boots. After 15 years of  Texas residency, I now own a pair. Why I don’t own 100 pairs, all in various kinds of exotic animal skins, is beyond me. I would buy dolphin skinned boots given the chance. I’d also eat a dolphin, but that’s a story for a different blog.

3. People watching at Wal-Mart. Well before www.peopleofwalmart.com, I conducted miniature sociological expeditions at the Bellmead Wal-mart at different times of the day. Best time to go is on Sunday afternoon for maximum diversity.

4. Waco. Wait, whaaaaat?!! Waco does suck, but it doesn’t suck so bad it hurts. It’s a perfectly livable place. It ain’t Rio de Janeiro, but you get homey feeling  after a year. Others will disagree, but that’s because they don’t know how to accept what is in life.

5. Ken Burns. This elfin man has produced beautiful documentaries that have kept me sane and curious. I recommend Unforgivable Blackness: The Rise and Fall of Jack Johnson, Lewis & Clark: The Journey of the Corps of Discovery, and Empire of the Air: The Men Who Made Radio.

Therefore, I suggest you go to the Bellmead Wal-Mart in your dolphin-skin boots, buy one of these documentaries, return home to a mound of Church’s Chicken, enjoy a glass of Maker’s Mark and have yourself a good evening.

Bartleby the 2L

In my undergraduate days of yore, fuzzy days and weeks framed in my memory with neon and tinsel, I read literature for class and for fun. There are some stories that stick out in my mind for what they meant to me at the time. Others for what they portended.

It was my senior year and I had just finished taking the LSAT (has it already been three years since that spiritual onslaught?). It was the late afternoon and I was back home in my apartment, soothing my nerves with a mug of 5-Star Vodka. There I sat, no shoes, no shirt, no pants, sunk into a leather recliner, flanked by my hounds, wondering what the hell housemates receiving different kinds of mail at different times in the day in different kinds of envelopes in different shaped rooms had to do with law school. To wash that experience from my mind, I decided to read for class, a class dealing with modern American short fiction. It was aptly titled Modern American Short Fiction

The short story assigned: Bartleby the Scrivener, by Herman Melville, of Moby Dick fame.

Political defeat, but more importantly – dude, where’s my parking space?

Well, I lost. Congrats to the student who won. He actually campaigned and introduced himself to his new 1L constituents and thus deserves kudos for taking a vastly more proactive attitude towards a political endeavor than printing out pieces of paper that read in big block letters “VOTE FOR WK”. It should also be noted that this student is also my criminal ‘client’ in a class exercise – we’ll see how plea negotiations go next week!

Just kidding. I am relieved someone else was elected though. Sounds like sore loser speak WK! Well, the winner faces an increasingly disenchanted student body and an administration that continues to rub the BLS student zeitgeist the wrong way. Now I can speak freely without risking potential repercussions for SBA.

What happened now, you ask?

COMMENCE EPIC AND MEANDERING POST!