The Post Final Colloquialism

After certain final exams, the class as a whole feels roughly the same. Sometimes it is a wary hopefulness, other times it is a deep and abiding terror of the outcome.

In the latter scenario, in the hallways, in text messages, on Facebook, catastrophic similes abound and they all seem to revolve around scatalogical mayhem, various kinds of hydraulic systems and invasions of the person. It’s almost an implied contest to see who comes up with the most awesomely cringe-inducing line:

“I just got my ________ with a ________ made out of _________” or;

“That test just _________ my ___________ with a 2 ton brass ________” etc.

Well today was perhaps one of those tests that inspires that kind of madlib contest. There was a powerful storm during the exam. At times I hoped a tornado would touch down in the parking lot so that the test could be postponed. No such luck.

Anyway, BLS teaches you to keep moving even when you’ve just had your ass handed to you. See, I did it right there! (Except in a very PG-13 form).

Onward and forward, maybe not upward, but definitely forward.

Rankings

So I hear the USNWR Rankings are upon us and ol’ BLS dropped ten spots.

First I pose a question to you: Have you ever asked your physician what medical school he or she graduated from? Have you ever asked your dentist what dental school he or she graduated from? Didn’t think so.

Next, I’d like to note that I rank USNWR as fifth among major newsweeklies. The Economist is first. Take THAT USNWR! How’s it feel now?

Third, if administration responds to this by noting “rankings don’t really matter, we are special and they just can’t see it!” I’d like for them to erase my second quarter grades since rankings don’t really matter. I’d also like to use that line on my resume or during my next job interview.

As we’ve seen on so many t-shirts, we BLS denizens know full well, if law school rankings were based on pain and suffering, we’d be number one. Without a doubt.

Last, I propose that the law school separates itself from Baylor University and rebrands itself “The Brazos River Institute of Legal Knowledge and Happy Good Times.” That will surely provide a boost since everyone loves good times and rivers.

In all seriousness, yes, a drop in rankings is disappointing. 37k a year is a lot to pay for a school that was a tier 1 when you entered and is now a tier 2. Part of what we pay for is reputation, not just educational quality. And to be quite frank, I’ve been in many classes where I may as well have just been given the syllabus and the casebook and told to come back in 9 weeks for the exam.

But I digress from whatever point I was making. I guess I wasn’t making one besides who cares? I guess if you really want that job at Big Law Firm with three patrician names strung together it matters, but if that’s your situation you should’ve applied to Columbia.

Still Alive

I’ve been threatened with great bodily harm unless I update. Please forgive my month long absence.

You see, this has been the quarter from hell. I’m taking 16 hours worth of classes, 11 of those hours are mind-numbing. No offense to the instructors of Tax, Trusts and Estates and Business Organization, but reading statutes is about as enjoyable as reading the phone book. Some people love this stuff and I’m very happy for them. I prefer my fuzzywuzzy policy driven classes like family law. Man, I love standards that have no inherent meaning like “best interests of the child.”

In any case, it’s been a fairly joyless and soul-sucking quarter. On top of a class schedule that is brutal, there have been other unwelcomed stressors. Sometimes life gives you lemons. One would think you could turn them into lemonade, but sometimes you have no water or sugar and the lemons are rotten, so you really just have rotten lemons. But so it goes.

It’s during times like this that I spend time doing quiet introspection. That kind of stuff is not blogworthy because all personal difficulties translate poorly online – they sound whiny and trivial. It’s better to keep it to yourself.

With that said, all difficult times, all those times that kick your ass, are good lessons for the future. I’m trying this new thing where I just accept the crappy time as crappy instead of lamenting the current situation in hope of what could be without law school – an alternate universe where I get to lounge in fields of wildflowers, surrounded by stacks of cash, steaks and Swedish masseuses.

I suppose it’s a sort of complacency. There’s no point in being permanently bent out of shape over bad news that has come and gone.  Circumstances always change, and in my experience, given a few months, less fortunate times always yield to pleasant events if I just let things progress as they will. That sounds pretty fatalistic and I’m not advocating inactivity, just acceptance so that the march forward isn’t made even more torturous by angsty thoughts. Let’s call it passive optimism.

And now I descend from my Tony Robbins, feel-good, self-help soapbox and return to toil. Damn I love corporate formation!