A potential depression? Everyone knows the American way is to slap on a smile and pop some Prozac, that makes everything better, right?

I was a liberal arts major, so I’m only trained in soft, fluffy stuff, not the hard or squishy sciences like economics or Creationism (a joke – it failed).

Well, apparently there’s this thing called a ‘bailout’ and ’subprime credit crisis’ and the ‘oh my God the economy is collapsing’ fiasco going on right now. There’s a problem with liquidity, golden parachutes, bouncing dead cats, inflating things and bears and bulls. Sounds like a lot of my dreams after I’ve eaten old cheese.

Anyway, when I started to pay attention to this last year, it all sounded like a lot of Chicken Little screeching because many notable and ‘kookier’ figures (e.g. Ron Paul) were predicting economic collapse a year or two in advance. But the public doesn’t take threats seriously unless it’s something in the very near future. I didn’t think it was a big problem, just something far off and attenuated from my everyday life.

But then I joined the Chicken Little group when I conducted my own ‘WK’s Google Tutorial on a Mysterious and Arcane Topic’ Session (TM) during one rainy weekend. After a primer on economics and this country’s situation, I almost soiled myself.

Looks like a lot of Chicken Littles called this one. I just hope they’re wrong about financial armageddon down the road. When I start to think, “Nah everything is going to be fine,” something crazy happens, like my credit card company going under, or Merrill Lynch saying, “Just kidding everybody, we’re more broke than Sarah Palin’s syntax.”  So my money is on something between catastrophe and severe recession. Too bad I’m pulling my money out and buying gold, so actually my money will be under my mattress, below the arsenal and MREs.

It’s frustrating to know that there are entrenched and deeply rooted problems in our economy that have gone unaddressed for two decades. The political discussion I’ve witnessed in my short adult life has been focused on irrelevant topics like, “Can I picture myself chillin’ at a bar with that guy? Hell yes!” or, “Oh, look at that filthy coastal elitist, windsurfing and eating arugula with the UN. How unAmerican.”

You know what I think is unAmerican? Getting elected by catering to reptillian fears of ‘the other.’ Tricking people into thinking something that would actually improve their lives (e.g. universal health care) is actually bad for them, but that something that really is bad for the average person (goin’ off to war) is a good thing. Pretending to be in touch, but retreating to one of twelve homes. Really, it’s more than just unAmerican, it’s Orwellian. Freedom is slavery and ignorance is strength, right?

Back to the original topic. Here is a link to a cartoon that explains the roots of the credit crisis. I almost punched a hole right through my computer screen once I grasped the central problem – dumbassery and gambling driven by good ol’ fashioned greed. Of course, through both the Clinton and Bush eras, trickle down and deregulation was ultimately good for mainstreet, right? Gimme a break.

“The Subprime Crisis as demonstrated by stick figures” (PG-13)